A COMPLETE ME.......

I used to always keep on wondering and pondering who would be the person in this whole big world who would love me and this entire world from the depths of the heart…. I searched for this answer a number of times, lakhs of times…. I used to always be engrossed thinking about this… Though to the whole world I would always be a happy go lucky person, it was just one part of me… The person who occupied the major part within myself used to be lost in the world searching for true love… I used to feel its such a huge world, there are billions of ppl around, but out of these is there someone who really loves me…. who really keeps thinking of the well being of this world. The one who is not scared to give a hand to the needy May be my parents, atleast one of my relatives , may be one of those friends whom I adore soooo much… Who is that person…??? I know each person in my life loves me to some or the other extent… & JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOES NOT LOVE ME THE WAY I WANT THEM TO DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY DON’T LOVE ME….

But all are human, they are effected by the feelings of ego, anger, distress, jealousy, etc etc.. What I was searching for was divine love… where none of these things come in between, where there is simple understanding just like the rotation of the earth around the sun in that givin orbit without breaking any rules, forgiveness with a big heart just like the ocean which can absorb the drops of rain without even making anyone aware that it has taken within itself that drop, Love which cannot be described in words, where words don’t speak but a silence speaks just like the cool breeze speaks with the leaves, a feeling of giving without expecting even a Thank you in return, just like the earth nourishing all the plants and in turn nourishing the animals and humans… without even expecting any thing in return… This may not be possible for anyone human all the time, but I did not expect it to be always either but it should be just majority of the time…

My mind kept leaping outside me in search of this love…. There were a few times in my life when I used to feel ya this is the person who surely loves me and each living being as much as I love all around…but none of them were true, all of them just loved in a shallow way… But my mind did not stop inspite of the defeat it kept going over mountains, across the sea, up in the highs above, in the stars in the moon, in the woods, in the city, it was a long long long journey as the mind traveled and traveled only in vain… The more it leapt outside the more bondage it felt from within… When it was running away it felt a tug from inside holding it and trying to get inside, inside in the depths of the heart… The more it was trying to move out the more of its focus shifted within myself…

It was then that I discovered that all the love I was searching all around the world, the love which would not be limited but unlimited was all within myself, within me, me the one whom I have hated all life for not having a single person who would care & love the way I wanted…. I used to always feel a hatred for myself, I cursed myself that I came in this world, where not a single person whom I have met till now is a true one, not a single person I have met Loves truly… But now I did not curse myself, I did not hate myself…. I Loved myself… because my love dwelt with me always, forever, it is not momentary, it is eternal, having no boundaries of time, age, etc… it would go on with me forever and ever and ever… It was my own soul, which is that dearest God’s one bit…. Which has a beginning from God and will finally go back to him… It has all those great qualities that GOD has.. Its divine, its amazing, its fascinating, I feel so COMPLETE now, I feel so pure, I feel so lovely, with all this realization…. I can call myself the happiest person in the world… The one who used to be so sad within… Is now the happiest… God was with me always, He still is and will always be… may anyone be with me or not… I am going to do my duty, for which he has sent me here and with me will be my Eternal love, the ceaseless, the limitless….. Now if anyone is with me from this world I will surely be happy but one thing is for sure that if no one from this world is with me I shall never never be Sad… A sudden truth has dawned upon me, so sacred, so pure… I KNOW, I KNOW NOW THAT ITS BECAUSE OF THE COMPLETE ME FOR SURE……..