Monday, April 24, 2006



We all know that a soul is the most essential component of any living being.. Of you, of me, of each and every person… each and every living being..

I cannot say that I am living without the acceptance of the fact that there is a soul which dwells in my body.. The soul which is a bit of that great God…

My soul is not an unbroken piece.. It is made up of a number of pieces a number of components… Now you must be wondering what must be the components that make my soul… Well , they are all the ppl around me and all the living things around me, which have created their place in my heart.. Ya you can call them my loved ones… These are the ones who are close, very close to my heart…

I am very very selfish in this matter, I don’t want any of these pieces to part from me, I cannot live without them properly… For my unbroken existence I require all of them. Even if one of them is amiss, is angry on me, is upset with me, I am not at rest till things are made up… I have stored all the moments that I spend with these ppl in the compartments of my heart… I cherish each moment.. I am alive because all these loved ones are in my life. Though all of them may not meet me daily but then till they meet me again I can live on the basis of the moments that we had spent together… Eg: my friends who meet me once in a while, I am alive till our next meeting because we were there together sometime in the past and there are moments of happiness that we have shared.., One of my dearest aunts who stays in the USA comes just one day in the entire year but I can wait for the entire year again because of that one day which we spent together….

Its my habit right from my childhood that once any person makes a way to my heart, that person remains with me forever, never never can I forget that person…. May be I may not contact that person but then that person remains in my thoughts always.. I have faced a lot of problems due to this… When I was small I could not hide my feelings, I used to get upset easily with the behaviour of someone around me, a lot of scoldings I got from my parents because of this attitude. They used to keep on telling me that the world is selfish, there are bound to be incidents in your life where you may feel that you have done a lot of good for a person, you really love that person, but still that person does not feel the same for you, but for that you should not take things to your heart, you should learn to be a little self centered if you want to live in peace in this world.. “FORGET THAT PERSON, THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS AROUND” was what they used to tell me.. I know THIS WAS ALL FOR MY GOOD, my parents can never want the bad for me.. but then I could never express why I could never forget that person in my life and why I like a SHAMELESS person went to that person and spoke to him the same way I used to earlier, with that same feeling of love.. We all know the hindi saying “Kutte ki dum tedi ki tedi rehti hai” . The meaning behind is that the habits or behaviour of a person never change.. Neither have they changed in my case.. Only thing is there is one thing I have learnt over these years, ie to hide whatever sorrow or grief I have.. Things do upset me, make me sad (There are hardly any times when I am angry), upset… but I don’t express it to anyone, I know no one can ever change my mindset, I will keep going on the bumpy roads of that feeling of true love for each living being in my heart and when I get bumps of selfishness or heart break given by others to me I have no right to make anyone around sad because of my own mistakes which make me sad…. I cannot upset others because I am upset.. so I do not share these thoughts either in words or actions… Life becomes so easy for others if there is a jolly person around.. I feel really happy bringing those smiles to faces…

But these bits of my soul, all may not realize they are meaning so much to me… SOO MUCCCH…. That their very walk off from my life can shatter my world.. I may not show it but I am affected a lot….

When I was in school, ours was a group of 20, all work and play was done together, but out of all one was really a special friend of mine.. though there was a strong bonding among all 20 yet I used to feel much more for this friend… There was a strong bond between us… Atleast I used to feel that way… I used to love her to the extremes but then it had to happen.. She ditched me one day, a stupid thing to do (reserved the information of the project given in class to herself, in spite of me asking about the project she purposely did not tell me the correct one, due to which I fared badly in that exam). I hid this fact from my parents, but somehow they came to know about this…. And from then onwards I was not allowed to speak to that friend… My life was shattered… there were other 19 friends but my life was incomplete…. My parents were upset due to my behaviour of taking this thing too seriously. They asked me to spend time with the other 19, but One bit of my SOUL was amiss… I WAS ASKED TO FORGET HER…. But it was like telling a Mother “ You have other 2 children be happy, let the first one go….” Is it possible for a mother to do so… no, because the children are bits of her very existence her soul….. I somehow made up with my friend, I convinced my parents… but it was remarkable that, my friend agreed she was wrong and she was sorry that she had been so selfish with a person who loved her so much…. That had a happy ending..

But now, one of my Special friend has walked off on me, without even saying a good bye, without even explaining why, this is very strange, I cannot forget this any moment.. not a single moment… If it was my mistake my friend could have told me.. I could have rectified it… but without letting anyone know their fault how can a person be punished….??? I have explained myself, I have tried to keep the friendship alive from my side, but then why you had to do this… History repeats itself, so my parents wish I think that I never had you as my friend, they may be right from their side but I still cant forget you…. Why are you punishing me… My life has become a disaster, I keep wondering why this has happened… let me know my mistake, let me know my fault.. you are the bit of my soul.. whom I cannot forget… never can forget… Please come back, come back, come back……………

Monday, April 17, 2006


I used to always keep on wondering and pondering who would be the person in this whole big world who would love me and this entire world from the depths of the heart…. I searched for this answer a number of times, lakhs of times…. I used to always be engrossed thinking about this… Though to the whole world I would always be a happy go lucky person, it was just one part of me… The person who occupied the major part within myself used to be lost in the world searching for true love… I used to feel its such a huge world, there are billions of ppl around, but out of these is there someone who really loves me…. who really keeps thinking of the well being of this world. The one who is not scared to give a hand to the needy May be my parents, atleast one of my relatives , may be one of those friends whom I adore soooo much… Who is that person…??? I know each person in my life loves me to some or the other extent… & JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOES NOT LOVE ME THE WAY I WANT THEM TO DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY DON’T LOVE ME….

But all are human, they are effected by the feelings of ego, anger, distress, jealousy, etc etc.. What I was searching for was divine love… where none of these things come in between, where there is simple understanding just like the rotation of the earth around the sun in that givin orbit without breaking any rules, forgiveness with a big heart just like the ocean which can absorb the drops of rain without even making anyone aware that it has taken within itself that drop, Love which cannot be described in words, where words don’t speak but a silence speaks just like the cool breeze speaks with the leaves, a feeling of giving without expecting even a Thank you in return, just like the earth nourishing all the plants and in turn nourishing the animals and humans… without even expecting any thing in return… This may not be possible for anyone human all the time, but I did not expect it to be always either but it should be just majority of the time…

My mind kept leaping outside me in search of this love…. There were a few times in my life when I used to feel ya this is the person who surely loves me and each living being as much as I love all around…but none of them were true, all of them just loved in a shallow way… But my mind did not stop inspite of the defeat it kept going over mountains, across the sea, up in the highs above, in the stars in the moon, in the woods, in the city, it was a long long long journey as the mind traveled and traveled only in vain… The more it leapt outside the more bondage it felt from within… When it was running away it felt a tug from inside holding it and trying to get inside, inside in the depths of the heart… The more it was trying to move out the more of its focus shifted within myself…

It was then that I discovered that all the love I was searching all around the world, the love which would not be limited but unlimited was all within myself, within me, me the one whom I have hated all life for not having a single person who would care & love the way I wanted…. I used to always feel a hatred for myself, I cursed myself that I came in this world, where not a single person whom I have met till now is a true one, not a single person I have met Loves truly… But now I did not curse myself, I did not hate myself…. I Loved myself… because my love dwelt with me always, forever, it is not momentary, it is eternal, having no boundaries of time, age, etc… it would go on with me forever and ever and ever… It was my own soul, which is that dearest God’s one bit…. Which has a beginning from God and will finally go back to him… It has all those great qualities that GOD has.. Its divine, its amazing, its fascinating, I feel so COMPLETE now, I feel so pure, I feel so lovely, with all this realization…. I can call myself the happiest person in the world… The one who used to be so sad within… Is now the happiest… God was with me always, He still is and will always be… may anyone be with me or not… I am going to do my duty, for which he has sent me here and with me will be my Eternal love, the ceaseless, the limitless….. Now if anyone is with me from this world I will surely be happy but one thing is for sure that if no one from this world is with me I shall never never be Sad… A sudden truth has dawned upon me, so sacred, so pure… I KNOW, I KNOW NOW THAT ITS BECAUSE OF THE COMPLETE ME FOR SURE……..

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Meaning of SORRY

We see that this word SORRY is being used quite commonly these days.. Ppl dnt realise that they are using this word for apologising. Its just become an habbit.. We have lost the feelings of apology when we utter this word.. Said a bad word, say "Sorry" Hit someone say "Sorry". Did not go on time say "Sorry" . Cant help out someone when that person is asking for help say "Sorry" Its become like U give someone a tight slap without any reason and Say "I AM SORRY". Its become an easy way out to run away from troubles caused by our mistakes... Ok its not bad to say sorry...but then one should realize the true meaning of this word.. I was just thinking about this word what must it be meaning... May be its a combination of words together... So I put it this way....

S- sincerely

O- offering apology

R- right from my heart

R- realising my mistake and truly apologising to

Y- you, with a promise to try not to commit that mistake again...

I guess life has become tooo mechanical... we dont even realize that in a day how many people we hurt...but then ya, we too are humans and humans do make mistakes...The only thing is that we must realize the true meaning of this word... That will help our heart to be at peace...!!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Great, Greater, Greatest


Many of the times we say these words …I feel these words apply in a number of cases, few of them I have mentioned here….

A person who wishes to help others is GREAT, The one who helps others is GREATER, but the one who helps without letting the other person know and without expecting anything in return is the GREATEST…

A person who understands the other persons Love is GREAT, A person who feels the same way for the other is GREATER but the one who expresses his love and gives it the most priority is GREATEST…

A person who has a dream in life is GREAT, the one who wishes to get the dream into reality is GREATER but the person who works extremely hard till his dream is fulfilled is the GREATEST…

A person who smiles is GREAT, the one who wants others to smile is GREATER. But the one who actually makes others smile is the GREATEST….

The person who wins trust is GREAT, the one who builds up the trust is GREATER but the one who never breaks the trust is the GREATEST…..

Friday, April 07, 2006


I come across many people everyday.. There are some whom are really feel are good human beings, there are some who I mark as immature, some I mark as wicked, some are the ones who make mistakes purposely, while some I mark as childish so they make mistakes etc etc
But out of them there are few common things for majority due to which I pity them…their life is wrecked because of these bad points……Life for them is a dark shade which they may not realize…. I pray to GOD to free these people from this dark shade of their life and make them Enlightened
I Pity the people who-----------
· Give more importance to MONEY than LOVE
· Those who APPRECIATE FROM HEART sparingly
· Those who DON’T REALIZE the VALUE of PEOPLE around
· Those who are FLATTERERS, cause they are not cheating others they are CHEATING THEMSELVES
· Those who FORGET others once their WORK IS DONE
· Those who make friends only FOR FUN without knowing that true friends are the one’s who come to their friend’s RESCUE and not TRAP them..
· Those who feel PROUD of what they have achieved without knowing that whoever they are their contribution is only in a few DECIMAL points towards the WORLD…
· Those who BRAG about what they DO FOR OTHERS..
· Those who do not point out MISTAKES, even if they feel such MISTAKES would land others into trouble.
· Those who CAN’T KEEP SECRETS which are necessary to be kept to Oneself
· Those who keep on showing how BAD others are just for the sake of making their OWN self GOOD in the eyes of others..
· Those who turn a BLIND EYE towards a person ASKING FOR HELP..
· Those who FORGET THE SAYING “ If you love someone you need to be honest to that person, coz if you lie to that person means you Don’t love that person with your whole heart”
· Those who FEEL JEALOUS of other’s achievements..
· Those who KEEP GRUMBLING about their workload, chill you are getting paid for what you are doing, so enjoy it..
· Those who KEEP MAKING EXCUSES for not extending a helping hand, giving a bit of love to others, making someone happy…
· Those people who bear a grudge and cannot forgive others..
· Those who DO NOT REALIZE their own mistakes
· Those people who KEEP on Justifying their wrong doings

Monday, April 03, 2006


When we are out at the countryside we get so many happy moments that we recollect and enjoy when we are back in the city….
Sitting besides the flowing water of the river sends a wave of enthusiasm within us…
In the forest when we are wandering around, we hear the sweet chirping of the birds, this makes us feel a sense of joy within us…...
When the cool breeze fiddles our hair there is a sweet melodious song playing within us….
When we stroll along the winding valley paths we feel that playful enjoyment within us….
The sight of the lovely flowers makes their beauty touch the soul within us…..
When the butterflies settle on the flowers we feel like treasuring that snapshot within us…
The trees so green make the feeling of sereneness encroaching within us….
When we are lying on the lush green grass we feel that divine peace within us….
When the goats come near and we caress one of their small ones we feel the circle of love completing within us….
When the fog blocks our eyesight we don’t feel bad but we feel the inner soul enlightening within us….
When at the night time we are lying on the dry grass and look at the colossal starry sky, we feel we are just a spec and the feeling of modesty dawns within us…..
When in the morning we wake up and smell the lovely fragrant air full of the countryside flowers we feel the refreshment within us….
When the time comes to come back in the city a feeling of hurt sends a chill within us….
“We are leaving our home” is the feeling within us….
When we are back in the city though the sense of incompleteness remains yet to complete our lives we have atleast those lovely happy moments that we cherish forever within us……!!!